Phillip Van Hooser - Transformational Leadership

Principle 2: Explain the Process (This is the second in a six part series on becoming a great communicator.)

“I didn’t actually tell her, but I’m sure she knows what I mean.”  How many times have you heard such a statement? More importantly, how many times have you said or thought the same? Unless the person you’re thinking of is a certified mind reader (I’ve never met one of those), choosing to believe that any person will know what you’re thiking without making the effort to tell them is the equivalent of actually believing you will win the lottery. It could happen — unfortunately, it seldom does.

Understanding how to explain the process begins with understanding your overall communication objectives. Knowing what your objectives are before you begin significantly lessens the chances that you will falter in your communication efforts. Is your objective to:

• convey
• request
• educate
• defend
• question
• or confirm?

When Explaining the Process, Know What Others Sense. Communication is not only a verbal experience, in a very real sense it is also sensory in nature. People pride themselves on their ability to “read” other people. People evaulate their “gut feel” regarding messages they receive from others. People are always on the lookout for “a connection,” “kindred spirits” and their “soul mate.” There are at least six universal things people can “sense” from our words and the manner in which we deliver them.

• People can sense how we feel.
• People can sense if we like them or not.
• People can sense if we’re glad to be there.
• People can sense if we’ve memorized our comments.
• People can sense if we’re lying.
• People can sense if we’re trying to sell them something.
• And people can sense if we’re sincere.

When Explaining the Process, Anticipate Key Questions. Let’s face it, many of us are suspicious by nature. When someone starts explaining the process to us, we start trying to read between the lines. We wonder about a number of things. And until we have acceptable answers to questions that concern us, we will not be able to fully accept the communication effort as being legitimate. However, satisfy us with answers to our most pressing questions and we will value you as being the great communicator you are.

Consider these common questions people have and be ready with an answer to their questions.

• Is this really going to do any good?
• Is it possible that I could be hurt as a result of what happens?
• Should I get involved personally or just watch and wait to see what happens?
• What is the real motivation behind what I am seeing and hearing?
• Will this have a negative effect on my relationship, position, etc?
• Will this cause more problems than it is worth?

We should never assume that others know what we are up to, even those closest to us. We may think that choosing to avoid these “unnecessary” explanations up front will save us time in the process. What we don’t consider is that sooner or later we are sure to end up explaining the process anyway — what we did, how it was done and why we did it. If the process is explained before action is taken, most people are still open to listening and learning. However, if explanations are offered after action has been taken, many people will already be dealing with the frustration brought on by what they see as your insufficient communication approach.

Principle 3 next time — Tell the Truth.

Phillip Van Hooser
Cultivating Great Leaders to Create Competitive Advantage
phil@vanhooser.com