Phillip Van Hooser - Transformational Leadership

Principle 5: Get Others Involved (This is the fifth in a six part series on becoming a great communicator.)

When Getting Others Involved…Ask Their Preference

One of the best ways to get others involved is by asking a fairly open-ended question such as, “What would you like to see happen from this point forward?” or “If you had your way what direction would you have us go and why?”

Not everyone will immediately embrace personal involvement. However, some will. And when they do choose to respond to the type of question offered above, it is very easy then to move to the next step. The next step involves extending a personal invitation to become more personally involved in the actions to be taken or decisions to be made.

How many people around you are waiting for this invitation? Probably more than you think. But, you’ll never know for sure unless you ask.

When Getting Others Involved…Be Specific

When offering the chance to get others involved, too often the tendency is to leave the activity open-ended. That’s a bad idea. Few people will reach blindly into a bag unless they have some idea what is in that bag already. Not knowing creates fear, anxiety and hesitancy.

It’s much better to tell people specifically what they are getting into and what is expected of them. As it relates to communication, specificity rules!

When Getting Others Involved…Recognize Success

Once you are successful in getting others more actively involved, there is one more key activity that should not be overlooked. Catch people doing things right and recognize their successes in every way possible.

It takes courage to step out on faith and to take on additional responsibility. Over time, the more involved people become, the more communicative they become. Fewer problems occur when people are talking to one another. So, we should be doing all that is within our power to keep people talking.

Show people what success looks like. Trumpet the successes that you are observing. Don’t wait for huge, “front page news” successes. Be just as quick to acknowledge and highlight the “look, we’ve made a little progress” successes, too.

The personal involvement of others is a skill not easily mastered, but one that can pay significant future dividends.

The last of the six principles next time - Do Your Job.

Phillip Van Hooser
Cultivating Great Leaders to Create Competitive Advantage
phil@vanhooser.com

Principle 4: Work for Understanding (This is the fourth in a six part series on becoming a great communicator.)

Working to understand the needs of others and working to be understood is a transferable skill, not limited to a specific professional discipline or activity. It is a skill both needed to be successful in their chosen professional venues. And it is a skill that the rest of us need as well. Being willing and able to work for understanding, to improve personal communication is needed, recognized and valued in the operating room, in the show room, in the classroom, in the boardroom and even in the living room.

Consider the following ways to work for understanding.

When Working for Understanding…Check the Pulse

There is always a right time and a wrong time, a right place and a wrong place, a right way and a wrong way to communicate. Great communicators are the ones who have come to realize that with successful interpersonal communication “one size does not fit all.” As a result they work to fashion a tailored, customized communication message for those who will be receiving it. To accomplish this, proactive communicators need to have their finger on the pulse of those who will be impacted (positively or negatively) by the communication offered.

Here are some questions to consider as you formulate the specific message to be conveyed.

• What are the key issues s/he is currently facing that can impact the reaction or response?
• Has s/he ever heard or dealt with this type of message before?
• If so, how has s/he reacted to it?
• How does this person handle good/bad news?
• What kind of things have we dealt with together in the past that could resurface (for good or bad) during our time of communication?

When Working for Understanding…Anticipate and Manage the Barriers

A major part of good one-on-one communication is being able to anticipate and manage the numerous barriers that continuously crop up throughout any focused communication effort. Consider the following categories of barriers and the proactive suggestions offered to avoid them.

Sender Barriers
• Intention. Any successful journey begins with a well-defined itinerary. Communication is no different. The originators of the communication-the senders-need to be crystal clear on the intention of the communication to follow. 

• Preparation. Once the intention is clear, the preparation must follow. Consciously prepare for who you will be speaking with, what you want to accomplish and how best to present your ideas or information so that they can be well-received by your intended audience.

• Singular Focus. So as not to confuse those to whom our message will be delivered, the primary focus must remain clear and uncluttered. Focus on the “first things first.” Don’t try to cover too much ground or mix too many varying messages. It confuses the receiver of the communication. 

• Timeliness. As the originator and sender of the message, do everything in your power to align and deliver the message in a timely fashion. A message received well in advance of its application is soon mentally discarded and forgotten. A messaged received too late is looked on with disdain.

• Opportunity to Vent. There is an emotional element to almost every message. As the originator of that message, it is imperative that you recognize that emotions and personal feelings are to be acknowledged and dealt with. As such, allowing receivers an opportunity to vent their thoughts and emotions adds to the value of the communication process.

• Accept Responsibility. As the sender of the communication, if and when you fail in some area of the communication process, be willing to accept responsibility for your failure quickly and publicly. Receivers will be much more apt to forgive and move forward when they recognize that you are accepting responsibility for your mistakes.

Message Barriers
• Isolate the Problem. Well meaning communication can often go awry when the intended message strays from the problem to the person. Expert communicators have learned to isolate the problem and separate it from the people involved.

• Procrastination. On those occasions when it becomes necessary to communicate a message that is expected to be received negatively, too many communicators shrink from the challenge. They hope there will be a “better time” for such communication. Remember, “bad news does not get better with time.” Don’t procrastinate-communicate!

• Communicate Expectations. Any message can be misconstrued if it remains unclear as to what is expected to happen next. As the originator of the communication, it is your responsibility to conclude every exchange with your own personal “call to action.” Make sure every person knows what is expected of them from that point forward.

Environmental Barriers
• Appropriate Time. As a general rule, if you are communicating a message that will be well-received and roundly supported, it is better to share that information as early in the day, the week, the month as possible. The positive buzz can have a desirable after-effect on others.

• Privacy Matters. On the other hand, if you expect a message you are called to communicate might have a negative backlash, plan to communicate that message out of the sight of prying eyes and ears. It is better to deal with unpredictable emotions in private.

• Shut Down the “Grapevine.” Most organizations have some sort of informal, internal communication “grapevine” that too often dispenses rumors, speculation, innuendo and half-truths. Expert communicators can virtually shut down such grapevine communication by becoming known as the repository for dependable communication. Be proactive in making people’s unknowns-known.

When Working for Understanding…Inspect What You Expect

Even the best planned, best prepared and best delivered message can, on occasion, be misconstrued unintentionally. But how can you know that, short of waiting for the whole issue to blow up in your face at a later time and place? You can always “test your message.”

It’s fairly simple. Here’s what you do. Once you have communicated your intended message to the appropriate individual, before parting company you ask the following question, “I realize that I am not always the best communicator. I’m trying to get better. But, what we have just talked about is so important that I want to make sure that I have not done anything to confuse the message. Will you please tell me what you heard me say and what you know I am expecting as a result of our conversation today?”

Once you have asked this question, I suggest you stop and listen carefully to what is retold. Notice in the question above, I have worked hard to put the burden on the sender, not on the receiver of the message (i.e., “…I am not always the best communicator. I’m trying to get better…I want to make sure I have not done anything to confuse the message.”) Therefore, if, in the repeating of the message back to you, the receiver gets something in message wrong, be sure to accept the blame for the confusion. Example: “Did I say that you have $5,000 in your budget for the next quarter? Oh my, I meant to say $500. Thanks for catching my mistake. That could have been disastrous.”

In a nutshell, working for understanding always takes work-but it can also bear great results.

Principle 5 next time - Get Others Involved.

Phillip Van Hooser
Cultivating Great Leaders to Create Competitive Advantage
phil@vanhooser.com

Principle 3: Tell the Truth (This is the third in a six part series on becoming a great communicator.)

It seems like telling the truth ought to be a whole lot easier than it actually is. Of course, if all we ever did was share good news with others, then telling the truth would always be fun and easy. But as evidenced by the conversation between the doctor and my son, sometimes it falls to us to share news truthfully that may not be readily welcomed or appreciated by others. That doesn’t change the fact that truth telling is necessary.

The good doctor won the trust of a young patient, in large part, by simply telling the truth. My son had never had stitches before this encounter and as a result, really had no idea what to expect. Had his doctor said, “Joe, this won’t hurt a bit,” Joe would have had no practical, experiential reason not to believe him. In fact, I suspect Joe would have believed that statement and everything else the doctor told him right up until the very instant when the cold steel of the needle pierced the raw flesh of his chin. At that split second, when those nerve endings came alive, conveying to the brain the undeniable message that pain was, in fact, being experienced-from that moment on Joe would have believed nothing-absolutely nothing-that the doctor had or would tell him. All credibility would have been lost and rightfully so.

And so it is with each of us and the way people react and respond to us. Playing fast and loose with the truth is a recipe for disaster. On the other hand, learning to share the truth-even uncomfortable truths-in a masterful way can strengthen the foundation on which a relationship is built in a way that nothing else can.

You may be wondering how you can become known far and wide as a “truth teller” without exception. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

When Telling the Truth…Fess Up When You Screw Up

In establishing your believability quotient as a communicator there is simply nothing more important than telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But, if mistakes have been made, if the untruths have already been told-how does one go about reestablishing believability?

My advice-fess up.

Try as we might, we can never retract the words we’ve spoken or the deeds we’ve done. And excuses won’t help (e.g., “I didn’t know the microphone was on…,” “My boss should have told me…,” or “I was afraid of what she might think…”). Plausible explanations are poor substitutes for taking personal responsibility.

Far and away, the most important action we can take in rebuilding a fractured reputation is to take responsibility publicly and quickly for the mistakes we’ve made and the lies we’ve told. Begin by fessing up to the people who were impacted most directly by your untruths. Here are three steps that can be taken to begin making things right.

1. Be totally honest about your dishonesty. Don’t complicate the problem by continuing to lie about your lying. Just swallow hard and get the truth out there.

2. Be contrite. Once the truth is out there, take your medicine, in whatever form it might come…discipline, public ridicule, humiliation, diminished status, severed relationships, financial loss, and so on. Don’t try to blame or implicate others for your actions. You will never look good by trying to make someone else look bad. Accept the fact that you screwed up and then go ahead and take your licks.

3. Recognize that most people have short memories and a desire to forgive. What was done or said during a thoughtless moment may take months, even years to undo. However, if mistakes are handled honestly and tactfully, the old axiom, “Time heals all wounds,” generally proves to be true. Be patient - it may take time. It may take time for others to forget and time for you to remember just how valuable the truth is to one’s reputation.

Principle 4 next time - Work for Understanding.

Phillip Van Hooser
Cultivating Great Leaders to Create Competitive Advantage
phil@vanhooser.com

Principle 2: Explain the Process (This is the second in a six part series on becoming a great communicator.)

“I didn’t actually tell her, but I’m sure she knows what I mean.”  How many times have you heard such a statement? More importantly, how many times have you said or thought the same? Unless the person you’re thinking of is a certified mind reader (I’ve never met one of those), choosing to believe that any person will know what you’re thiking without making the effort to tell them is the equivalent of actually believing you will win the lottery. It could happen — unfortunately, it seldom does.

Understanding how to explain the process begins with understanding your overall communication objectives. Knowing what your objectives are before you begin significantly lessens the chances that you will falter in your communication efforts. Is your objective to:

• convey
• request
• educate
• defend
• question
• or confirm?

When Explaining the Process, Know What Others Sense. Communication is not only a verbal experience, in a very real sense it is also sensory in nature. People pride themselves on their ability to “read” other people. People evaulate their “gut feel” regarding messages they receive from others. People are always on the lookout for “a connection,” “kindred spirits” and their “soul mate.” There are at least six universal things people can “sense” from our words and the manner in which we deliver them.

• People can sense how we feel.
• People can sense if we like them or not.
• People can sense if we’re glad to be there.
• People can sense if we’ve memorized our comments.
• People can sense if we’re lying.
• People can sense if we’re trying to sell them something.
• And people can sense if we’re sincere.

When Explaining the Process, Anticipate Key Questions. Let’s face it, many of us are suspicious by nature. When someone starts explaining the process to us, we start trying to read between the lines. We wonder about a number of things. And until we have acceptable answers to questions that concern us, we will not be able to fully accept the communication effort as being legitimate. However, satisfy us with answers to our most pressing questions and we will value you as being the great communicator you are.

Consider these common questions people have and be ready with an answer to their questions.

• Is this really going to do any good?
• Is it possible that I could be hurt as a result of what happens?
• Should I get involved personally or just watch and wait to see what happens?
• What is the real motivation behind what I am seeing and hearing?
• Will this have a negative effect on my relationship, position, etc?
• Will this cause more problems than it is worth?

We should never assume that others know what we are up to, even those closest to us. We may think that choosing to avoid these “unnecessary” explanations up front will save us time in the process. What we don’t consider is that sooner or later we are sure to end up explaining the process anyway — what we did, how it was done and why we did it. If the process is explained before action is taken, most people are still open to listening and learning. However, if explanations are offered after action has been taken, many people will already be dealing with the frustration brought on by what they see as your insufficient communication approach.

Principle 3 next time — Tell the Truth.

Phillip Van Hooser
Cultivating Great Leaders to Create Competitive Advantage
phil@vanhooser.com

Leader Transformation Tip 9: Respect is earned through consistent behavior. Your people will know what to expect. http://www.vanhooser.com

Phillip Van Hooser
Cultivating Great Leaders to Create Competitive Advantage
phil@vanhooser.com

Leader Transformation Tip 8: Recognize followers’ contributions constantly. Don’t let them feel taken for granted. Http://www.vanhooser.com

Phillip Van Hooser
Cultivating Great Leaders to Create Competitive Advantage
phil@vanhooser.com

Leader Transformation Tip 6: Know your followers’ service anniversary date and call attention to it every year. http://www.vanhooser.com

Phillip Van Hooser
Cultivating Great Leaders to Create Competitive Advantage
phil@vanhooser.com